Thursday, May 7, 2009

Why do they do what they do????

A few months ago, we talked about how kids are Martians sometimes........ Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever ponder the "why" behind kids' actions?

I think it is important to discuss bad behavior. I think it is good to find the "trigger" for your child and work with him/her on better responses to that trigger. What happens if you can't find it? What do you do if there is no "why"?

James 4:17 - "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

Sometimes our precious children are just sinning. So even though the Bible says that everyone sins........why is it so hard to admit that we have given birth to a sinner?

I think sometimes we as parents are embarrassed. So if we know that our kids are going to make bad choices.........if we know our kids are going to sin...........why is it embarassing to us? A reason for bad behavior somehow makes it easier for us to "save face". Is it hard to admit that your kids embarass you? If it is.........hang on, you will have many opportunities in their lifetime to experience it. It never gets easy though.

Whether we like it or not, to some degree, our kids behavior becomes a reflection of our parenting. So what do you do................
  1. Call it what it is - disobedience; sin
  2. Remember it was your child's choice not yours
  3. Look for triggers - but don't get paralyzed trying to figure them out.......sometimes kids just do stuff.
  4. Look at your parenting - make changes where you need to to be consistent and your child's leader; but remember it was your child's choice not yours.
  5. Allow your child to receive the consequences for his/her bad choice. Don't try to be the savior - you aren't.
  6. Be sure to support the other authorities in your child's life that may be dealing with the bad behavior also.
  7. Help your child learn to make better choices next time.

Kids can be weird..........sometimes there is no explaining why they do what they do. The more consistent we as parents are in dealing with the bad behavior - the shorter the lifespan of the bad behavior.

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